i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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