Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
