he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
