when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
