I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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