I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
