Screwed.edu
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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