If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
