I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize