Betty ford says i'm here all night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize