This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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