No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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