Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize