Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
