I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize