we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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