I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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