Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
