but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When did angry sex become our thing?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
