Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Enjoy the penises
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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