the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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