So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
my poor anus
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
