Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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