god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize