Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
