I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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