Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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