I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
