For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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