My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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