mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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