...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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