I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
