I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Enjoy the penises
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
