I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
