So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
