So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
