so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
