No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize