You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
