I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
