uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
