do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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