We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
