Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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