Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
