It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
NoShamevember. You game?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
