I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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