i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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