We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
