Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
