he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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