the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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