i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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