need another drink. this is the easiest way
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
