Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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