My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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