I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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