just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
