I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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