We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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