well I can't set my house on fire every night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
