I'm going to jail i love you
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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